Is Someone Testing Your Limits?

I have a friend with a special needs child she loves dearly, but he drives her to her absolute limits with his relentless need for attention. She gets nothing else accomplished and her stress-o-meter needle is in the red zone in these situations. I frankly cannot fully empathize with her exhausting circumstances.

Do you have someone that is pushing you to your limits? Your boss, or co-worker, maybe spouse or family member who is almost tormenting in their ways and make you want to scream, “Enough, I can’t stand it!!!!.”

What can YOU do to take some control back? When other people push our limits, we actually give them control of our feelings and emotions. They begin to rule us by “making” us feel like we do, and we believe we have no choice about the situation. You can put a halt to this pain. You can learn skills so you have a choice.

You can build thinking skills where other people no longer rule your feelings. Then, how you feel starts to become a choice rather than feelings “being forced” upon you. You can gradually be in charge of your own feelings, and then nobody can “make” you feel anything without your permission. Think of the freedom and joy that would be present with the ability to choose.

You say, “But you don’t have a clue how difficult my stress is.” True, I don’t. And there is no denying this is extremely challenging. But think how challenging your current situation is. Great strength is required. We can use our strength to fight those pushing us to our limits, or we can build our strength and skills by learning how not let them.

Building these mental skills in this difficult situation will serve you for the rest of your life. Think of the process as working out at your mental gym and building extraordinary mental strength.

Three of the skills necessary to establish your personal boundaries for that person pushing you to your edge are:

1. Stay present – if you can stay in the current moment and not let your mind wonder away from the here and now, it helps keep first things first.
2. Accept the situation – you wish it was different, you need it to be different, but it is what it is. Take the pressure off and stop thinking about your pain and circumstances. You will reduce your stress dramatically.
3. Set realistic expectations – you know the pitfalls of the relationship and surrounding circumstances. Don’t expect more than the normal truth.

What other suggestions can you contribute to help others from being overrun and overtaken by difficult people pushing our limits?